Path

It's my mom's birthday today. Happy Birthday, Mom! You're the best mom I've ever had!

Its very difficult for me to tell what is the way right now. There are so many 'options' and I am doing my best to follow the 'right' one. I always feel like I'm waiting right now, but I think there is a lot to be gained from this important experience of my life as well. It's just really hard because it's not what is commonly accepted as a step forward in one's life.

I had a strange dream last night. If any of you have heard about any of my dreams, you know that strange is 'par for the course' with me and dreams. Maybe one of you can tell me what it means.

So here's the setup, the background information that the dreamer automatically knows when the dream starts. I am in a speedboat. Above me is a hot air balloon. There is a rope going from the hot air balloon to me then further in front of me where it is tied to a snake. A very, very poisonous snake. In the dream it was called a Black Adder. Whether that really exists, I do not know. Also on a similar rope, from the balloon to my boat and on in front, was a small dog, used as "bait" for the snake. We, me and my family and some other people who were with us, were trying to use the dog and the snake to find something. I have no idea what it was we were seeking. But I was driving the boat. I drove it through a house that was flooded, then out a window and off a second story(European, third story US) balcony where I landed in a flooded alley behind the house. Then I followed the dog and snake further and we wound up inside of another house. Here I followed the snake and dog down a wooden staircase to a basement full of kitsch. The snake decided to go antique shopping instead of lead us where we wanted to go; he got himself inside of an old piece of junk in the basement, a coffee can from the 1850's or something like that. I had to pull him out. When I did, he bit me. I was taken out of the boat and taken up to a non-flooded bedroom where some more people were waiting to help me.

When I got up there, I could already feel the effects of the snake venom. My jaws were clenching together and I couldn't open my mouth. I asked, through closed teeth, for help from one of the three guys in the bedroom who I somehow knew were my brothers, even though they were clearly middle eastern. Maybe I was also middle eastern in the dream. I asked them to help me, so they laid me down on a bed in the room. My whole body ached from the bite. Then the pain started to go away in my feet and hands. Then, I tried to rub my face, but when I brought my hand to my face, it just flopped down and smacked me in the head. I realized that the pain was gone because my hands and feet were paralyzed. I couldn't move them. I got really scared and asked me brothers for help. (These are obviously not my real brothers because there were three of them and I only have two brothers.) One of them grabbed a knife and came over to me. He put it to my chest and I screamed. "Stop! What are you doing?!? Help me, don't kill me!" He just looked at me and grinned and said, "This is the only help I will give you." Two or three others in the room with me were laying on other beds, moaning and whining through clenched teeth, unable to move. He went back and sat down, but I realized the paralysis was creeping further. I couldn't feel up to my knees or my elbows anymore. I was going to die there, lying in this bed, unable to move or feel anything. I was terrified. Fortunately, the dream ended with the only pain being that in my jaw from the muscles being clenched sooooo tightly.

My dreams are very weird, but very real. I could feel the pain in my jaw and I could feel how tight it was. Probably you have similar experience with your dreams. One time, I had a dream and I got stabbed in the chest. I could physically feel the pain in my chest as I lay there with a knife in my heart. It was unbelievably real. That was the only dream I think I have ever actually died in. I didn't wake up until after I was dead that time. Freaky...